Where's the awe...or shock for that matter?

I do realize that most of us develop some level of cynicism as we age. Mine seems to be at a greater level than most others. Nothing that humans do seems to inspire awe in me. I'll use a classic example...a 120lb mommy lifts a burning car off her child and saves it's life. This does not inspire awe, however it does reassure me that there is still a small percentage of humans that are not souly motivated by self gain. She's not the incredible Hulk or a fucking angel. Her primal instincts kicked in along with her adrenaline. Kudos to mommy for her unselfish love.

On the other side of the coin...nothing humans do inspires shock or surprise in me. Of course if my BFF became a serial killer this would surprise me because it is not their nature. Since I have already used a mommy example, I'll use another. Mommy blames PPD for microwaving her baby. Am I shocked..no. I am pissed off...yes. I have experienced very black depressions and extreme anxiety. I don't kill because of it. Besides if she was having black thoughts about motherhood she should have gone to the doctor. Sterilize her, lock her up, and throw away the key.

I watch others in my age group react to these types of happenings with awe and shock. Some seem like their acting on purpose but others are truely surprised! This evokes a bit of jealousy in me...how I long to for a touch of naiveness....