Re-friendship

The word re-friendship (ok, maybe it isn’t a word but it should be) came up the other day when I was talking to a friend from High School I hadn’t heard from in over 30 years. We hadn’t had any contact with each other in over 30 years so it’s been fun catching up.

This brings up something I think we’ve all experienced. I think everyone at one time or another has run into an old friend they haven’t seen in years, and I mean a real friend, not just an acquaintance, and then after talking for a few minutes it’s as if there was no time has passed at all. It’s as if you saw them just a few days ago, not 10 years. You fall back into the same comfort level you previously shared with them. This is one of the best feelings I’ve ever come across. It’s one I’m experiencing now.

One of my very best friends, a BFF if ever there was one, whom I love and have loved dearly for years, was missing from my life for over a decade. This was mostly due to a temporary change in lifestyle, then moving and just losing touch. Also because of some things that were gong on in our lives, our last few times together weren’t as friendly as in the past so our parting wasn’t on the best of terms. We both were feeling badly over some things we had said and done. This friend has never been out of my thoughts for any length of time. I’d wonder what was going on in their life, if they were happy, healthy, if they were with anyone and where they were. We used to talk all the time, nothing was off limits, hang out doing the most mundane of things but enjoying being around each other while doing them. After all these years, there was a bit of a hole in my life and I finally decided to try and take some steps to find them. I dug up the parents’ phone number but was kind of nervous about calling. You know how the longer you put off getting a hold of someone the harder it can be to do it. You start feeling like they’ll think you’re crazy calling them out of the blue or won’t remember you or worse yet, just plain not want to talk to you. After a week or two I finally worked up the courage to call. Of course the conversation went great and I asked them to pass on my contact information which the said they would do on the upcoming weekend. I still was nervous as to whether I’d get a call and how it would go. The next day my phone rang and it was my friend. I was so excited. After a bit things got more relaxed and soon after things were back to normal. I was so relieved to have my friend back. I wasn’t the only one, another mutual friend had been waiting just as long to get hooked back up and that’s been done too.

Is there a point to all this? I suppose it’s first a good friendship should be cherished and not let to drift. I mean how many people are you truly close to? Ones you can share anything with no matter what and not worry about driving them away even if they don’t like what you say. Who can tell you just how they feel, be brutally honest, and not hurt your feelings or anger you. And you can to do the same back at them. Not very many I don’t imagine. As a matter of fact, you’re lucky to find one like that much less several.
So, if you’ve drifted apart from someone like that and still think about them years later, it’s definitely worth the effort to at least try to re-friend them. If they ignore your email or say nice to talk to you but...it’s you’re no worse than before. But…if they respond positively and you start back up where you left off, you gained something of measureless value that will enrich your life immensely. I have been so blessed and I’d like for you to be as well. So grab an old phone number, get on Myspace or Facebook and do a search. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.