Death of a friend's loved one.

Everyone has loved ones die. It's a fact of life. The loved can be a family member, a spouse, lover, friend, pet or even, for some people, an inanimate object. We each have our own way of handling/dealing with this. Some like being surrounded by friends, others want only a select few with them and still others would rather be alone.

As the friend (I'm talking true, love them dearly close friend here, not acquaintance) of someone who's lost a loved one, it's often hard to know what to do or say. I spout off some dumb platitudes, something I tell myself I won't do, and feel empty and useless afterwards. If I say too much am I going to make it worse for my friend? If I say too little will they feel I'm heartless and uncaring? It's worse when you're hundreds of miles away and can't be with them in person. I listen as they tell me what happened, how important the loved one was in their life, how long they've known them, etc and tears well up in my eyes and roll down my face as I hear the tears in their voice. I want to reach out and hug them, hold them close, but I can't which makes me feel all the worse and even more useless. I should know what to say, I mean what kind of friend am I anyway if I can't handle this? Fortunately for me since this is of the true friend variety, they know my feelings are in the right place even if I suck at expressing them. This is one of the many things that makes a true friend so priceless and so rare. I love you and your loss is my loss.